This relationship is just fantastic, not ideal at all. ESFJs and ISTPs form one of the best relationship matches you can find, but 'best' shouldn't be confused with 'ideal.' Their relationship excels precisely because it challenges both partners to grow through their differences, rather than providing an effortlessly perfect match. It's their ability to navigate and learn from these differences that makes them one of the strongest pairs, even if they never reach some theoretical ideal of perfection.
The reasons for their fantastic relationship are as follows:
First, their relationship is complementary and beneficial.
Second, their relationship boasts remarkable compatibility. Their relationship is very compatible and pleasant.
Semi-duality Relationship Description
ISTP (ISTj Socionics type, LSI, Ti-Se) + ESFJ (ESFj Socionics type, ESE, Fe-Si)
These are relations of deficient Duality. Semi-Duality partners usually have no problems in understanding each other or each other’s objectives, at least when these objectives are only on paper. When it comes to fulfilling joint plans, partners often fail to co-operate. The extrovert partner hardly listens to the introvert, concentrating more on the sound of their own voice. However, the introvert partner does not get upset about this and they often seem to find a way to adapt to it. Semi-Duals susually have many topics for conversation and these conversations do not seem to be boring.
Semi-Duals, especially if they are different in gender, can show interest in each other, which is multiplied if in addition they find each other attractive. However, when they feel like they are half way to complete understanding, one of them usually does something, not deliberately of course, that ruins all established harmony putting the partners right back to where they started. This is how incomplete Duality manifests itself.
Semi-Duality partners cannot stay upset with each other for a long time. After partners have calmed down, they attempt to get closer to each other again which unfortunately leads to another stumble. For the observer, these relations may seem really passionate and loving. Relations of Semi-Duality can be compared with the moth and the flame.
If not taken seriously, these relations can produce a little periodical shaking, keeping the partners “awake”. Relations of Semi-Duality are also full of contrasts: from being happy to see partner again to sudden disappointment and bewilderment.
This relationship lists some features that are really good and beneficial but potentially do not fit together at all.
The source is https://mbti-notes.tumblr.com/post/155827896977/esfj-istp
• Fe: ESFJ tend to care more about harmony and seek to connect well with others, whereas ISTPs can have difficulty understanding relationship expectations and how to establish intimacy. Thus, ESFJs might see ISTPs as inconsiderate, neglectful, or emotionally distant/unavailable, and ISTPs might see ESFJs as overbearing, demanding, or meddlesome.
• Si v Se: ESFJs tend enjoy routine and stability, whereas ISTPs tend to be more oriented towards freedom and adventure. Thus, ESFJs might see ISTPs as reckless, impulsive, or unreliable, and ISTPs might see ESFJs as boring, fussy, or hard to please.
• Ne v Ni: ESFJs can use Ne defensively to justify poor behavior or deflect criticism, which could be seen by ISTPs as being hypocritical or unreasonable. ISTPs can use Ni defensively to justify avoiding problems or issues, which could be seen by ESFJs to be stubborn, narrow-minded, or procrastinating.
• Ti: ESFJs tend to have trouble with being objective about themselves, whereas ISTPs tend to be more open to accepting feedback and criticism for self-improvement. Thus, ESFJs might see ISTPs as too critical, insensitive, or negative, and ISTPs might see ESFJs as irrational or difficult to reason with.
• ESFJs tend to be more sociable than ISTPs which could create an imbalance between extraverted and introverted needs.
Charts with this relationship marked “ideal” are very problematic. so this Incorrect.
I took the chart and asked everyone. “How’s this chart?”
Most of them answered they had a lot of problems and said the chart had to be eliminated because it was unreliable.
The chart also indicated that, among other relationships, the extinction relationship of Socionics was “ideal.” Even though the relationship is very controversial and ungrowing. The chart is problematic in many ways.
How can ISTP and ESFJ types communicate effectively with each other?
ISTPs and ESFJs are both Sensing personalities, meaning they are pragmatic and focused on the here and now. However, ISTPs are generally more reserved, logical thinkers, while ESFJs are outgoing and empathetic.
ISTP personalities should learn to be more open with their own feelings. ESFJs would appreciate it if an ISTP offered intentional time and followed through on scheduled plans.
ESFJs should allow ISTPs to have plenty of time to themselves; ESFJs need to avoid overly emotional expressions and offer ISTPs the freedom to pursue last-minute opportunities.
How can ISTP and ESFJ types resolve conflict?
Conflict can be difficult for ESFJ types to face, so ISTP types should try to be sensitive and patient, allowing ESFJs time to express themselves.
ESFJs should work to focus carefully on the facts of the situation, avoiding overly emotional expressions.
How can ISTP and ESFJ types build trust?
ISTPs are more likely to be trusting of ESFJs who allow them space to recharge and work at their own pace while communicating logically and directly.
ESFJs may find it easier to trust ISTPs who can be encouraging and sensitive, especially in times of stress.
How can ISTP and ESFJ types work together?
ISTP and ESFJ types can actually work really well together because of their differences; processing and expressing themselves differently means they are more likely to come up with different ideas and solutions to problems.
ESFJs can help ISTPs to finish projects and consider how their decisions may impact others, while ISTPs can help ESFJs process new situations and express themselves logically.
Once they learn to work together and appreciate their differences, an ISTP and ESFJ partnership is likely to be well-rounded and highly functional.
How can ISTP and ESFJ types deal with change?
Due to their Perceiving trait, ISTPs tend to accept change easily. ESFJs may struggle a bit more with unexpected situations. During this time, ISTPs should help ESFJs process; encouraging them to create a new plan or routine after the change can be helpful, as it may help ESFJs feel more in control.
Managing Stress
ISTP and ESFJ types need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible.
ISTP types are easily stressed by…
• Pressure to commit to long-term projects
• Monotonous or purposeless routine
• Spending too much time around other people
• Dealing with interpersonal conflict
ESFJ types are easily stressed by…
• Harsh criticism from others
• Needing to make quick decisions
• Lack of personal connections
• Working on a project by themselves
ESFJs should avoid overcrowding ISTPs, while ISTPs should avoid being overly critical of ESFJs.
Encouraging and Motivating
ISTP and ESFJ types can encourage and motivate each other in their personal and professional lives.
ISTP types are motivated by…
• Taking things apart and figuring out how they work
• Flexible schedules that allow them to be impulsive
• Freedom to be independent and alone
• Exciting new adventures and experiences
ESFJ types are motivated by…
• Creating plans and schedules for other people
• Following a set of rules and processes
• Communicating casually and in a friendly tone
• Considering multiple perspectives before making decisions
ESFJs can motivate ISTPs by allowing them space to work separately, while ISTPs can encourage ESFJs by communicating positively and following through with commitments.
I quoted an article as follows:
https://www.crystalknows.com/personality-type/relationship/istp-esfj
http://www.socionics.com/rel/sdl.htm