▪︎This article has corrected and minimized typos in the previous article. This article was last updated in 2024
💝 I’m not saying this couple is doomed to fail. However, there can be many challenges, and with effort and consideration, they can become close at any time. If they try to be considerate, they can create a compatible relationship.
🛑 Most compatibility charts circulating on the internet have been discussed in Facebook groups and analyzed in detail, but they often lack a solid basis and are therefore unreliable. You can simply ignore them.
🚫 Please refrain from excessive blind faith. Relationships can be hard, but theories alone do not define them. Relationships are influenced by the environment and situation, and no theory can fully explain them.
This perspective is based on observation, experience, and analysis. I hope this article won’t cause any hurt. I’m simply trying to share the truth to address false knowledge. We must pursue truth and not overlook it.
I’m urgently notifying you because incorrect information has spread through Google searches.
I’m ready to respect differing opinions. Google’s personality page says, “The natural partners of ENFP are INTJ and INFJ types.” This is actually incorrect. According to Socionics theory, ENFP and INFJ have a contrary relationship.
All these errors started with the distortion of the perspective theory. In Socionics, mirror relationships were seen as ideal, and since Socionics types and MBTI types are very similar, the contrary relationship was misinterpreted as a mirror relationship.
In Socionics, the contrary relationship is between ENFP and INFJ.
The INFj Socionics type uses FiNe, which can be viewed as the INFP MBTI type. On the other hand, the INFp Socionics type uses NiFe, which can be viewed as the INFJ MBTI type. The ENFp Socionics type uses the same functions as the ENFP MBTI type, so it can be seen as the ENFP MBTI type as well.
Socionics ENFp type (NeFi) - Socionics INFp type (NiFe) Contrary Pair
1. Personality differences arise due to different functions, which can lead to conflicts
INFJ — NiFeTiSe
ENFP — NeFiTeSi
Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that the contrary relationship is accurate in Socionics theory. The four functions work in opposite directions, so their minds and values differ. These differences can often lead to conflicts, as their psychological functions may misunderstand and distort each other’s thoughts.
2. According to Socionics theory, ENFP and INFJ are in a diametrically contrary relationship
This relationship is difficult and often involves arguments over minor details. Such relationships are called “extinguishment” relationships because partners often extinguish each other’s initiatives. It is hard to find adequate support for each other’s projects, though exchanging ideas is interesting. Contrary partners get along better when working separately since they focus too much on each other’s small mistakes when together.
3. psychological function in the opposite direction
They offer four identical capabilities to two people in the same channel, in different directions. And at the same time, they don't provide one and the same communication capability for the same features, which means there is no critical area where these partners can have the same perspective.
If one side pays attention to external processes through an extroverted function, the other side focuses on internal states through an introverted function, or vice versa. As a result, these partners find it difficult to understand and agree with each other when they deliberately try to look at the same problem from opposite perspectives, which can sometimes be helpful for creative research.
4. Factors Contributing to the Sensing (S) Deficiency of ENFPs and INFJs
Both types have a dominant preference for Intuition (N), focusing on abstract thinking and future possibilities, while often neglecting the present concrete details and practical aspects. They tend to struggle with handling routine tasks and practical details.
5. Inadequate Complementation of Cognitive Strengths
The primary functions of an INFJ are Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extraverted Intuition (Ne), while ENFPs primarily use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) and Introverted Feeling (Fi). Both types value emotions and intuition (Fe vs Fi), but their orientation and intuitive functions (Ni vs Ne) differ. These differences can lead to misunderstandings in emotional expression and intuitive insights, causing them to approach situations in ways that may feel unfamiliar to each other.
Additionally, INFJ and ENFP do not share the same tertiary function (INFJ's Introverted Thinking, ENFP's Extraverted Thinking) or inferior function (INFJ's Extraverted Sensing, ENFP's Introverted Sensing), which limits their ability to support each other in these areas. As a result, their relationship may lack an ideal balance, and they may have limitations in fully understanding or supporting each other.
This misconception stems primarily from a distortion of perspective theory. In Socionics, the mirror relationship is considered the most advantageous. However, due to the significant similarities between Socionics and MBTI types, contrary relationships are often mistakenly conflated with mirror relationships. This misconception stems primarily from a distortion of perspective theory. In Socionics, the mirror relationship is considered the most advantageous. However, due to the significant similarities between Socionics and MBTI types, contrary relationships are often mistakenly conflated with mirror relationships. The second reason is that it contains a sentence that can easily lead to misunderstanding, as it confuses "Judgement" and "Perception" with "Judging (J)" or "Perceiving (P)," making it easy to misinterpret a contrary relationship as a mirror relationship, and in fact, it is often misunderstood in this way.
The official website of Socionics often describes the Mirror relationship in a way that makes it easy to confuse it with the Contrary relationship: The main discomfort in these relations is caused by the difference in Judgement and Perception between the partners. (Mirror relationship explanation)
Judgment and Perception in the mirror relationship description above are often confused as Judging(J) and Perceiving(P)
In essence, the site has mistranslated a nuanced point about cognitive functions into a simpler but incorrect statement about personality traits, potentially misleading readers about the nature of ENFJ-INFP relationship dynamics.
These are relations of an unstable psychological distance. Both partners experience difficulties in establishing and keeping a stable psychological distance between them. The only chance Contrary partners have to get on together well with each other is if they are left alone. In other cases partners usually compete over their strong sides. The reason for this is when somebody else is present, each partner tries to capture the attention of the listener by showing off their strong side. Contrary partners may like some elements of the other partner’s behaviour. This often helps the partners to begin a more close relationship. However, when they are in company, their interaction can change dramatically. The introvert partner usually becomes distant, relations lose warm feelings and become formal and cautious. Both partners may start regretting that they became too trustful.The extrovert partner normally gets the false impression that the introvert partner is deliberately acting against them. This can bring a great deal of misunderstanding and surprise into these relations, as both partners are convinced that before everything was fine. The introvert partner usually starts suppressing the activity of the extrovert partner and may reproach and criticise them. The extrovert partner in return can behave in the same way.The most vulnerable position in these relations belongs to the extrovert partner, who may feel as if they are being betrayed. As a result the extrovert partner could start to worry excessively about their next step so as not to make any mistakes and may therefore become very suspicious. Unfortunately the extrovert partner cannot see that their introvert partner is not as bad as they have begun to imagine.
1. Communication style adjustments - ENFPs should respect INFJs' need for space and deeper conversations, while INFJs should appreciate ENFPs' spontaneous energy and brainstorming style.
2. Finding balance - INFJs can help ENFPs focus and develop ideas more thoroughly, while ENFPs can help INFJs be more spontaneous and open to new experiences.
3. Understanding differences - ENFPs are more externally expressive and idea-generating (Ne), while INFJs are more internally focused and contemplative (Ni). Respecting these natural tendencies helps avoid misunderstandings.
The key is appreciating their complementary strengths while being patient with their different approaches to life and communication.
In summary, ENFPs and INFJs may face compatibility issues due to differences in communication styles, approaches to planning, energy levels, and conflict resolution methods. However, overcoming these differences can become a source of growth and richness in their relationship. By fostering understanding, practicing patience, and recognizing each other's unique strengths, ENFPs and INFJs can build a strong and fulfilling relationship. The key is finding balance and learning from each other!